Silence as Weapons

Why do we stunt children’s growth by asking them to be completely silent? Why must educators desire children to be quiet for such long periods of time and listen to your ideas rather than the opposite? It’s built into the dominant belief system of the Eurocentric, single sided, white belief system that is our current public education system today.

I talked previously in one of my blog posts about how I have personally been ridiculed and made as if I was the awkward one out for being silent. I still battle with my anxiety over these fears on a fairly regular basis, it is not something that I have been able to "just get over" (as much of the world would want me to do). I have found that it is much more beneficial to me to be silent rather than forcing myself to be in a space that is uncomfortable for me, and if that makes you uncomfortable then you should "just get over it".

I am happy to sit back and be the one who observes and listens rather than always has to be the one talking. There is nothing wrong with either forms of learning. Both play to certain peoples' strengths and allow space for them to be themselves in whatever form that they find necessary. Whether or not children are talking in class, they can and still are engaged in the conversation. Just because there are children who aren't frantically taking notes and filling out the study guide for the upcoming test, doesn't mean that they won't do well. It is very important as part of our never ending quest for equality and equity of the oppressed, we build people up based on their strengths and different forms of knowledge. This is a conversation I could have for hours, but as these blog posts are meant to be shorter I'll try not to get too carried away.

Through my experience in classrooms (both in physical and virtual spaces) I have noticed that even when talking about native oppression and silence, that Native people's are often excluded from these conversations. It baffles me that even in spaces that are set up for people to engage in these conversations around native oppression and silence that there is so much oppression. At least in my experience I have not been in many settings that are properly set up in this way. There are so many uses of technology that could bring this silence forward within educational spaces.

Included below are my personal reflections when leading a class discussion about these topics in one of my online classrooms during the COVID-19 pandemic on May 19, 2020:

"I noticed so far in this class discussion that the other members of my group who were leading the class would get anxious if anyone wasn't speaking and they would want to fill the silence by speaking their own thoughts and ideas. I found this article very freeing in the way that I was able to finally put words to and recognize that my silence is not something that should be hindering me socially and academically. Rather it is that I have been trying to find some way to express my silence and my enjoyment of silence, now I have the words laid out for me and it all makes sense. This is why I am silent in classrooms and in social situations, I am reflecting consciously about how what is being said or done is affecting me. I am constantly reorganizing and regrouping my thoughts to better reflect myself and be able to see others through my own critical consciousness. I have noticed that I have been really struggling during this whole time because this article speaks for who I am and it feels as if people are critiquing me by talking about how silence is considered an awkwardly uncomfortable space to be in. I want to jump out and say all the things that I can feel rushing up my throat to say but right as I finally feel the moment is right to say something, someone has jumped in because THEY are uncomfortable. For me, I was just becoming comfortable. This makes me think about how I have been living my life needing that self reflection time before answering a question or in social situations in order to gather my thoughts. My anxiety definitely has a huge role to play in me being hard on myself for being silent, yet the silence is a part of me. I am Native and that is something that is innate inside of me. It is part of who I am and part of who my people are and the ways in which we interact with and view the world. I really have enjoyed this conversation because it is at such a critical moment in our world's history of this pandemic and everyone having to do school from home. It is really important that we analyze the ways in which we are teaching children to exist in the world and teaching kids that they always have to be 'on' is something that we don't even expect of ourselves as it is exhausting.

It makes me think of the 'one answer' model of teaching. If anyone is unfamiliar with this idea, it is the unspoken understanding that the teacher has one one way of answering the question that is acceptable to their frame of reference and white culture dominated curriculum? Aren't we supposed to be learning alongside the children that we are teaching? Are we supposed to be telling people what to believe and how to live their lives or are we supposed to give them all the possible resources to form their own educated decisions and ideas? For me it is the second part. It is way more important to aid students, children and yourself in figuring things out about the world that go along with the way you are living and interpreting the world. It is when people are asked to think about how they view the world are they finally forming a concept of how their own true deep understanding is formed. It is different for everyone.

It also made me think back to one of my first science classes that I took in university and as a Native woman I hold that all beings are alive. So when prompted with one of those stupid show-what-you-know sheets where you had to circle all the things on the list that you thought were alive and justify your answer. I don't remember what specifics were on the list but I circled things such as: plants, trees, air, water, wind, cat, dog, human, fish, birds, etc. When it came time to turn in our sheets of paper, the professor pulled me aside to tell me that my understanding of the natural world as seen from my cultural perspective was wrong and lowered my grade on the assignment. It wasn't worth much but still, I was furious! It was the first time that I was really consciously aware that teachers are just looking for the 'one answer' that fits their Eurocentric, westernized answer from the textbook. That's when I gave up on that class. If my thoughts aren't going to be appreciated or at least considered, then I will just use that as fuel for my future classroom. It is important that all students voices are heard no matter what they are talking about. It is important to be validated in your thoughts and that professor did not do that."

I have also included pictures from this lead discussion of our use of Padlet in our new online educational space that we must try and figure out. I was shocked how no one had heard of or seen Padlet being used so I took it upon myself to teach my fellow classmates how to use Padlet as an effective classroom tool regardless of whether we are meeting virtually or not. I changed the settings around a bit to enable the class to comment on others' posts/ideas, give it a heart as a sign of mutual understanding and have everyone's voices be anonymous. I thought that this really allowed students the space to use this tool as a helpful resource to share their reflections on our small group discussions, the reading in general, their own personal experiences or with something that was said by someone else. Through using this tool as an extension of the educational space, we were able to hear from and gather more information than we had time for. It also allowed us as facilitators of this discussion to watch the discussions happen as people's thought processes were changing due to what was being verbally communicated. This ties right along with the article perfectly as it allowed people the space to share their ideas anonymously while still getting feedback. It enhanced the educational space and the conversation as there are many points on this discussion board that did not make it into the verbal conversation due to lack of time.

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SilenceasWeapons.SanPedro (1).pdf

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Here I have linked a fantastic article written by Timothy San Pedro. His article entitled "Silence as Weapons: Transformative Praxis among Native American Students in the Urban Southwest" is one of the most telling articles that provides a glimpse of what it is like to be Native American in our Eurocentric public schooling system.

I have highlighted a few of my personal favorite parts in this article that really helps people to see the unspoken importance to children being silent in the classroom but also to the Native American perspective. I personally relate to this article and think that our silence is something we must keep fighting for.

One of my favorite points in this article is on page 14-15 (in the pdf format) "Eileen is constructing a critical awareness of her lost history. In reflecting she feels lost, but is eager to fight for her beliefs as she is making sense of them. ... Within their reflective silence, with their pens and pencils moving, they had an opportunity to pause and reflect on how others' words impacted them, made sense to them, and helped them form their own meaning through such an event. Silence, here, was dialogic and through the writing, it became known."

STOP!

IMPORTANT:

If people are not speaking up for themselves, that doesn't mean they aren't speaking with themselves. They are still critically reflecting and analyzing everything around them. Whoever is using silence to express themselves internally has as great of an access to learning different understandings of the world as someone who is using words to express themselves. Silence is a great way for children to express their feelings internally because they don't feel safe expressing them outwardly. For a lot of young children, silence is how they must get by. Sounds scary? It is.

On page 11 in pdf format, "While a few students were engaged in whole class discussions, the majority were on the periphery of the conversation--listening, reflecting, accepting, and using silence as dialogue." He continues to talk about how the "inner voice" and your "inner struggle" are both there and how they are really two different things. I feel that there are a lot of things not being said by people because they feel like they can't distinguish between the two. I certainly know that I have not been able to put into words were some of the things that are written within this article.

I really loved this article as it not only in my own head for the reasons as to why I don't learn and think the same way as others, being a Native American woman it has been really hard to try and navigate these educational spaces that are designed to restrict all forms of thought and conversation that are not in line with the dominant narrative. It also provided a space for us to learn from one another using technology that was incorporated in a way that gave way for deeper and more meaningful connections through conversation.